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Tuesday, December 23, 2025

Theatre 2025: Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical - Royal Cinema

After watching over 30 plays this year, our last show of 2025 is another Christmas-themed play with the unwieldy, self-explanatory title “Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical”. My husband Rich chose this show so I went with a bit of scepticism, since we did not enjoy some of his Yuletide picks from previous years including “The Christmas Tea” and “The Wizard of Oz” Christmas panto, which didn’t quite hold up without the influence of Ross Petty.  But I can’t resist any new musical, so off we went.

To prepare for this latest show, we front-loaded our Christmas viewing starting in late November by watching a slew of “Hallmark Christmas movies”.  These are all variations of the same plot, a small subset of the “boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-gets-girl-back” Rom Com trope.  In the Hallmark Christmas movies, the story obviously happens around Christmas time, the girl with a high-powered or at least white-collared job comes from the big city to a charming little town/village and falls in love with the local carpenter/contractor/fireman/cop/solider, etc. and decides to stay.  Even the same actors get recycled from movie to movie including past B-list stars like Lacey Chabert and Scott Wolf from Party of Five or soap opera stars like Hunter King (Young and Restless) and Ryan Paevey. (General Hospital).

I am happy to report that Rich finally picked a holiday winner!  Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical is a fun show with original songs that both advance and spoof the plot of a typical Hallmark Christmas movie. The entire cast has great singing voices and gives hilarious performances with their tongues planted firmly in their cheeks. The costumes are appropriately festive with lots of red and green and ugly Christmas sweaters.  What really stood out was the video backdrop that set the scenes, from the skyscrapers in Big City to the airplane and highway scenes traveling to and arriving at the quaintness of Small Town with its general store and snow-glistened trees.  This extensive use of video is quite apropos since the show is staged inside Royal Cinema, an Art Moderne movie house and event space built in 1939.

Introduced with an ensemble number titled “Big City”, the heroine, aptly named “Holly”, is the powerful businesswoman who lives in “Big City” working for “Big Bank” and is spearheading “Big Merger” with a Chinese bank.  When she learns that her mother Merry has heart issues and is overworked from running 12 companies in “Small Town”, Holly decides to return to her hometown to help her mother, singing “Going Home For Christmas” as she travels.  Holly turns over responsibility for Big Merger to her co-worker and quirky best friend Martha, another stereotypical role in Hallmark movies. Martha is played by the versatile Luke Witt in one of the many outlandish wigs that he dons in portraying a variety of characters including townswomen and a shady cookie contest judge.

Once in Small Town, Holly runs into her hunky high school sweetheart, Mark Hall, who is the town sheriff/Christmas Tree Farm owner/widower with a young daughter that he repeatedly forgets about.  Exaggerating the characteristics of the typical Hallmark movie male lead which emphasize emotional intelligence over book-smarts, Mark is portrayed as kind-hearted but a total idiot, to great comedic effect.  While the sexual attraction and spark is there, Holly becomes more and more aware of his lack of intelligence.  Mark explains how his wife died in the hilarious song “Ballad of Jenny” which feigns several false conclusions as to the cause of her demise (car crash, oven gas leak, etc.) before it is revealed that she died after ignoring her severe gluten allergy in order to make and consume “real Christmas cookies”.

Holly and Merry sing a duet titled “Love or Career” that cuts to the chase of the major dilemma of many Hallmark movies.  In many of these movies, the woman is made to feel guilty for prioritizing work and career over affairs of the heart.  This musical refreshingly subverts that decision with Holly deciding that instead of following her heart, she will follow her brain, which she declares with the song “I Choose Me”.

The arc of the musical which focuses on the love story between the two romantic leads is very satisfying and spoofs the tropes perfectly.  What worked less for me was the over-the-top subplot of Merry and her former best friend turned rival Cookie in a grudge match over a cookie contest that has been rigged in Cookie’s favour for years.  This satirizes the many movies that feature cookie baking contests including a “Cookie Cutter Christmas” or “A Christmas Cookie Catastrophe”.  In the musical, Cookie comes across as a sneering, Cruella de Ville lookalike with dark arched eyebrows who blackmails a crooked judge into voting for her annually. 

Cookie does get to sing a pair of great songs including the jazzy “Cookie Doesn’t Crumble” and another song where she lists a slew of different types of cookies (gingerbread, shortbread, thumbprint, etc.).  The tune and cadence of the song sounded so familiar and it took me a few minutes to realize that this was a homage to the song “Joseph’s Coat” from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat which has the lyrics “It was red and yellow and green and Brown and blue”.  This is just one of multiple popular musical references or Easter eggs hidden throughout the show.  At the finale of one song, Cookie climbs onto a chair with arms spread and a green light shines on her, as if she is singing the last notes in “Defying Gravity” from Wicked.  Rich also thought he noticed quick dance poses that reminded him of Bob Fosse or the musical Chicago.

In midst of the whole cookie judging scandal, Matt’s moose Bruce got loose leading to a scene in the forest with flashlights as everyone is out looking for him while singing “A Moose Is Loose”.  While the song is said to be reminiscent of a Dr. Seuss musical, the choreography reminded me of mystery musicals like Curtains where characters are creeping around in the dark.  In another scene in the forest when Holly and Mark are trying to kiss, the introduction of singing and dancing Christmas trees changed the tone of the show away from a rom com, veering it more into more of a cartoonish affair.  I would have preferred if the plot stuck to parodying the Hallmark Christmas movies, but this is a minor nit.

From generalizing “Big City” and “Small Town” to playing on every Hallmark Christmas Movie Trope and then further exaggerating or even subverting it, this musical does an excellent job of skewering what is a guilty pleasure for many people each holiday season.  We left smiling, happy and wishing that a soundtrack would be released for the delightful songs.  Hopefully this show will tour and will return each Christmas season.

Sunday, December 21, 2025

Theatre 2025: Rogers v. Rogers @ Crow's Theatre

Rogers v. Rogers is a new play by acclaimed Canadian playwright Michael Healey, who is known for writing “The Drawer Boy” and “Master Plan”.  His new endeavour was commissioned by Crow’s Theatre and is based on Globe and Mail business journalist Alexandra Posadzki's 2024 book Rogers v. Rogers: The Battle for Control of Canada’s Telecom Empire.  It deals with the epic familial power struggle between the heirs of Ted Rogers’ telecommunication company Rogers Communications.  Ted began building his empire by purchasing the Toronto FM station CHFI in 1960, then continuously added cable TV, broadcasting, internet, wireless mobile, and media operations over the decades until the various entities incorporated as Rogers Communications in 1987.

Facing his mortality amid health concerns, Ted wanted to ensure that his company remained under the control of the Rogers family.  To that end, shortly before his death in 2008, he established a Control Trust that holds about 97.5% of the company’s Class A Voting shares.  The trust is overseen by an advisory committee plus a corporate trustee (Bank of Nova Scotia). Ted assigned his immediate family members including his wife Loretta and four children (Edward, Melinda, Martha and Lisa), as well as a close cousin David Robinson and a few trusted outsiders to the advisory committee.  Edward was named the Chair of the Trust which gave him the most power, and Melinda was designated the Vice-Chair.  While this group works independently from the Rogers Communications Board of Directors, it wields control over the board due to this overwhelming majority voting block.

The power struggle for control of Rogers Communications began after Joe Natale, former CEO at Telus, was brought in as CEO in 2017.  He held this position through 2021 as he helped navigate the contentious attempt to merge Rogers with Shaw Communications, a move which Canada’s Competition Board sought to block.  Wanting to become CEO himself, Edward cited dissatisfaction with Natale’s performance due to Rogers’ low share price and its customer growth lagging behind Bell and Telus, as well as Natale’s mishandling of the merger.  Edward’s push for the ouster of Natale led to the Rogers board attempting unsuccessfully to remove Edward as Chair of the Control Trust.  He countered by using that power as Chair to remove 5 dissenting board members.  All this led to court battles with Edward facing off against his sisters Melinda and Martha and his mother Loretta who challenged his authority to unilaterally fire board members without a shareholders’ meeting.  The fight played out in the press, leading to comparisons to the hit TV show Succession which was popular at the time. Ultimately, Edward won the court challenge and his victory was complete when the Shaw merger was also successful.

Michael Healey’s play Rogers v. Rogers delves into this turmoil, with actor Tom Rooney playing all the characters in a one-man tour-de-force performance.  The set consists of an office boardroom with a long table and many swivel chairs, a multi-windowed digital screen along the back wall and a digital floor that changed colours throughout the play.  The back screen provided visual context for to clarify explanations provided by the various characters.

Instead of directly focusing on the dysfunctional Rogers family, Healey opens the play with the character of Matthew Boswell, the commissioner and head of Canada’s Competition Bureau.  Using the back screens like a digital blackboard, Boswell acts as a narrator, providing background about the Competition Act of 1985 including its deficiencies and the adverse effects on consumer prices when there is a lack of competition.  He gives multiple examples where companies such as Loblaws and Dollarama create the illusion of competition by swallowing up or merging with a slew of smaller companies which are rebranded but actually all owned by one parent company.  Rooney represents Boswell as a moral, passionate, and frenetic character who throws around “F-bombs” at will.  In his initial rant, he alludes to the stressful time his team went through in trying to oppose the merger between Rogers and Shaw Communications, with more details coming out throughout the play.  Boswell’s frustrated diatribes are tempered by calming words from his wife, who Rooney transforms into via a mere sidestep and a change of tone, demeanor and posture.

By donning an apron and speaking with a European accent, Rooney next becomes the Spanish butler Ricardo, the de facto parent-figure who provided the day-to-day childcare for the Rogers children.  Through this character we learn about Ted Rogers’ difficult childhood with a father who died when he was five and an alcoholic mother who shipped him off to Upper Canada College boarding school between the age of 7-17.  Throughout these years, Ted was not allowed to go home even though he was a mere 9 blocks away from his house.  Despite these hardships and the loneliness that he endured, Ted was determined to exceed his father’s achievements, spurring his own drive and risk-taking mindset.  As a result of his ambitions and workaholic nature, Ted was not around much for his children, as noted by the butler.  He also set extremely high standards which his offspring found difficult to meet.  Edward was described as a weak, insecure and neglected child who craved his father’s approval and compensated by overeating, while Melinda was seen as the intelligent, competent child who was a natural leader, but somehow still not good enough to take over the company, perhaps owing more to her gender than anything else.

By the time we finally see Edward and Melinda as actual characters, they are young adults that have been pitted against each other by their father in competition for his approval.  Rooney flips between the pair by having Edward hold a cup of coffee which he sets down and crosses the stage to reply as Melinda.

Visual cues were used to differentiate between the various characters, especially in terms of dress and wardrobe.  Matthew Boswell’s character usually appeared jacketless, unless he was in a rapid-fire back and forth conversation with Edward, who usually wore a suit jacket with a red pocket square once he reached adulthood.  Edward’s wife Suzanne wore large gold, dangling earrings and at one point when Edward and Suzanne had a conversation with each other, Rooney would sport the earring on only one ear and would turn from side to side to represent each character.

We continue to learn more about Edward through stories told by others. In one scene, an American telcom executive, wearing a cowboy hat and speaking with a southern drawl, describes a meeting that he had with Ted who wanted to take over his company. Ted brought Edward along and there was a strange incident with Edward trying not to eat all the pie slices on the table.  The interaction highlighted Ted’s ruthlessness and Edward’s insecurities.

In a hilarious scene where he is seated at the end of the table, Rooney portrays both Edward and a senior exec that he is trying to woo as he seeks allies to support his bid for CEO of Rogers Communications.  Rooney switches between the two characters, describing conflicting points of view of the dinner that Edward organized at the Windsor Arms.  From Edward’s perspective, the dinner was a huge success and he majorly impressed the exec all night with scintillating conversation.  Interspersed with Edward’s comments are the exec’s quips where he mocked the venue (somewhere his grandma would go), thought Edward strange and uncommunicative, and the meal lasted only 45 minutes.

Boswell returns to provide more background about the events that led to showdown between the Edward, his family and the Rogers Board.  Boswell describes the Rogers CEOs that succeeded Ted Rogers after his passing, each time bypassing Edward who vied for the job.  These included Nadir Mohamed, Vodafone “rock star” Guy Laurence and finally Joe Natale.  With each additional snubbing, the resentment grew in Edward until he finally realized that as Chair of the Control Trust, he could override the board, fire Natale, install his own figurehead CEO in Tony Staffieri (the current CFO) and then run the company from his role as Trust Chair.  We learn about the infamous “butt dial” scandal where Staffieri accidentally discussed the plans for Natale’s removal, not realizing that Natale was listening in on his cell phone.

This led to the highlight of the play, which was a masterclass in staging.  The board meeting held in September 2021 to vote on firing Joe Natale was virtual due to pandemic restrictions.  To represent this in the play, the entire stage was transformed to represent the Zoom meeting with each panel of the multi-windowed digital screen inhabited by one of the board members, all played by Tom Rooney!  The images were pre-taped but it was amazing how he made each person seem distinct with different expressions, hairstyles, some wearing glasses and matriarch Loretta sporting a cigarette in her hand.

The floor of the stage contained all the buttons of a virtual meeting including volume and mute.  Rooney sat in the chair at the middle of the long table, speaking into a microphone.  He started the meeting in the role of Edward before shifting to David Peterson, Melinda, Martha and Loretta.  As each character spoke, their video feed was enlarged on the screen, simulating Zoom’s “Active Speaker View”, reflecting Rooney who was speaking live.  Humorous moments occurred when Loretta was on mute and we only saw her lips moving while the other characters were all calling for her to unmute.

Although in reality the events happened on different days, for dramatic purposes, the vote on Natale, the pushback from the board, the call for removing Edward as Chair of the Trust, and Edward’s ultimate powerplay of invoking his rights as chair, all happened in the same Zoom meeting.  Also added to the meeting for exposition purposes were other humorous, real-life events that highlighted the dysfunction within the Rogers Family.  At one heated moment, Martha started to tweeting insults hurled at Edward and the tweets appeared on screen. In another absurd moment, Edward’s wife Suzanne inexplicably popped up to highlight two embarrassing and inappropriate events.  First was the 2021 photo with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago that sparked public backlash for poor optics.  Then she streamed a video that she commissioned (actually in 2022) where Brian Cox from Succession congratulated Edward on his “real-life Succession” board victory.

The result of this fabulously chaotic meeting was surreal, mesmerizing and mind-blowing as we watched all those images of Tom Rooney interacting with each other on screen while also watching the actual actor on stage.  Kudos to Crow’s artistic director Chris Abraham for some ingenious stagecraft and for Tom Rooney who pulled it off.

Just as Matthew Boswell opened the play, he got the last word to wrap it up as well.  Although his valiant efforts to prevent the merger of Rogers and Shaw were unsuccessful, he did achieve a conciliatory victory for Canada.  There was so much public outrage over the deal that the government felt pressured to pass Boswell’s proposed changes to the Competition Act of 1985 which should result in better protection for consumers going forward.  Bill C-59 (2025) strengthened rules on mergers, greenwashing, and hidden fee (drip) pricing, while expanding market study powers.

Michael Healey has done a fantastic job in writing a play that begins by proclaiming itself part satire, part documentary, and part work of fiction. For the audience, the play was totally entertaining and laugh-out-loud funny.  Considering all the political, economical, and organizational details about monopolies, mergers, and stock voting rights that he had to convey, this work could easily come across as dull or overly complex. But by focusing on the fallibilities, ambition, and greed of Edward Rogers and contrasting it against the Don Quixotesque passion of Matthew Boswell as he fights for the rights of consumers, Healey has turned this into a human interest, Goliath v David story that was fascinating from start to finish.  It is no wonder that this show sold out its original run in record time and then sold out again despite being extended for several more weeks.  Hopefully this play is remounted in the future, so that more people can watch it.

It would be interesting to hear what members of the Rogers family or executives of Rogers Communications think about the play, since Healey pulls no punches in depicting both the corporation and Edward Rogers in a negative light. The show even ends with a not too subtle plug for Freedom Mobile as a way to lower your cell phone bills.  The message definitely hit home since during the post-show Talkback discussion about the play, several members of the audience who responded to a question prefaced their answers by expressing feelings of shame or regret for being Rogers’ customers.

Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Theatre 2025: The Woman in Black @ CAA Theatre

I am not a fan of horror, be it in movies or plays.  So as much as I was apprehensive about watching The Veil at Crow’s Theatre, I dreaded watching Mirvish’s production of The Woman in Black even more.  While both these plays are considered “Gothic Horrors” that use mood, atmosphere and anticipation to rachet up suspense, The Veil was more psychologically eerie while The Woman in Black leaned into the “jump-scare” moments.

Based on a 1983 Gothic Horror novel of the same name by Susan Hill, the 1987 stage play The Woman in Black was adapted by Stephen Mallatratt using the same basic premise but wrapping the story in a “play within a play” as a framing device.  Elderly solicitor Arthur Kipps has written and wants to perform a play detailing the traumatic events that he endured as a young man, as a way to exorcise his demons.  He hires an actor (unnamed and referred to as “Actor”) to help hone his performance. But it quickly becomes clear that he does not have the skills to effectively convey his tale.  Instead, it is decided that Actor will portray the young Kipps while elderly Kipps plays all the other characters in the story.  Lighting cues are used to differentiate the inner play (Kipp’s tale) vs the outer play (the interactions between old Kipp and Actor as they plan the scenes).

Young solicitor Arthur Kipps is hired to settle the estate of the deceased Mrs. Drablow. Kipps travels to the remote (and fictional) coastal village of Crythin Gifford to attend her funeral and visit her mansion, Eel Marsh House, in order to review her papers.  While there, he is met with fear and suspicion from the villagers who refuse to accompany him to the manor.  Both at the cemetery and in the house, he spots a ghostly woman dressed all in black with a ghoulish, skeletal face and hears the sounds of screams, a child crying, and a pony and cart plunging into the surrounding marsh.  Eventually Arthur learns that the ghost is the vengeful, malevolent spirit of Jennet Humfrye, the sister of Alice Drablow who had adopted the unwed Jennet’s son Nathaniel.  Going mad after watching her son and his nursemaid drown in the marsh one foggy night, Jennet now haunts the village and wreaks revenge by causing the deaths of children related to anyone who sees her.

As much as I don’t enjoy being scared for two hours, or even worse, the anticipated dread of waiting to be scared, I did admire the acting performances and especially the stagecraft used to set the mood.  For the most part, the play is a two-hander performed with a minimalist set and a rack of coats, hats, scarves and canes that transform the elderly Kipps into the various village people.  The rest is left up to the audience’s imagination, aided by vivid dialog accompanied by effects of dim lighting, shadows, smoke, fog, and sound effects including rumbling of a train, crows cawing, the clip-clopping of a horse and cart that takes Kipps to the mansion, the thudding of a rocking chair in the middle of the night, anguished neighing horses plunging into water and bloodcurdling screams emanating from the back of the theatre.  A third actor pops up throughout the play as the eponymous Woman in Black and waiting for her appearances serves as one of the main sources of tension and foreboding in this play.

The Woman in Black is the second longest running non-musical play in London’s West End, trailing only Agatha Christie’s Mousetrap.  I thought it was strange to schedule such a play at Christmas as opposed to Halloween (although there might not have been much choice given that this is a traveling production).  But Arthur Kipps first line talks about Christmas Eve, so maybe that qualifies this as a “Christmas play” after all … as much as Die Hard is a Christmas movie.